Top Ten: Best and Worst Things About the USA

Best 

1. A channel that airs nothing but back to back episodes of Forensic Files

Oh that's right. There's nothing better than a hangover day in your bed, eating munchies and watching the trashiest TV you can find. And what's trashier than good ol Forensic Files? 

2. Netflix

Netflix is responsible for the distribution of many shows that weren't picked up by major networks. If it wasn't for Netflix, shows like Orange is the New Black, House of Cards and True Detective wouldn't have reached the masses. 

3. Food

Say audevoiur to old boring French fries and hello to fries paired with everything you can possibly dream of. Cheese fries, chilli cheese fries, nacho fries, disco fries, chicken parmy fries, cheeseburger fries, and pretty much anything deep fried. Don't underestimate an Americans ability to find something to deep fry, because you'll be surprised when you read "deep fried cheesecake" on the menu. You can definitely understand why Americans are amid a battle of the bulge, being inundated with oily, sugary, deep fried goodness  

However, if you're not feeling like the usual take away grub though there are places you can get delicious home cooked meals. New Orleans was our favourite spot for a meal, where we finally got our hands on a plate of food that wasn't drowned in oil and fat. We enjoyed a meal of veggies and grilled fish, something that may not sound appetising, but when you've been travelling for months it's refreshing eating something that tastes like home. 

4. Some cities actually try to be healthy 

Contrary to the point that dot point number 3 made above, it's nice to go somewhere and have a salad that's not drowned in oil. LA feels like the birthplace of the healthy food phenomenon that has taken the world by storm. Freshly pressed juices are available on every corner and do it feels nice giving the body the nutrients it actually needs other than drowning your arteries in fat. 

5.  Americans

The most welcoming and friendly people you will ever meet live in the south. Not only will they take you under their wing and show you their beloved city they call home, but you will probably meet their family while you're at it. They are down to earth and eager to show the out of towners how things are done. They definitely made us feel like we were visiting a home away from home! 

Worst 

6. Having to tip everyone, even if they've done a shit job 

We literally had cab drivers refuse us to let us out of their car because we didn't tip them enough. By the end of the trip you just learn that tipping isn't necessarily for good service, but to avoid getting into an argument with the waiter or cabbie. Whatever happened to customer service? 

7. Their adverts 

You're probably thinking, oh but all commercials are pretty bad aren't they? Well, Americans take them to that extra level of cheese with over acting, stupid punch lines, and those pesky pharmaceutical ads that need to mention all of the side effects of the said pharmaceutical. 

8. It ruins everything you thought you knew about Hollywood 

Not only is Hollywood boulevard aan actual dive, when you tour the studios it ruins everything you have ever seen. On he silver screen you realise that all houses and rooms are actually filmed in studios and houses like Wisteria Lane are made of styrofoam. The same street you see as Gotham City in the early Burton Batman movies is the same set as this years release of Jersey Boys. Basically, everything you know and love about the escapism of cinema is destroyed with a 45 minute studio tour. 

9. One cent coins 

The bane of our existence. Nothing more can be said about these little pieces of copper that you find in abundance at the bottom of your bag once you've left the country. 

10. Americans 

Americans don't do very much to disprove the ol stupid American stigma at all, because they're exactly that. The amount of times we got asked if we spoke English or Australian became less of a joke and more of a concern. Also, their annoying, in your face kind of patriotism that in effect does not make you love the USA more, but conversely makes you want to like it that little bit less. 

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Top Ten: What the world thinks about Australians

1. No, I do not ride kangaroos everywhere or have them as pets

Look, as much as I'd love to nod and say yes, I do have a pet joey named Skippy who use to hop me to school and play with me in my back yard, I can't I'm sorry. As a result of pesky foreign advertisers, the people of the world think that Australia is a vast red country where we are surrounded by bush land and live near a billabong with our tucker bags. They find it hard to grasp the idea that we like in cities, with buildings, and automobiles. 

2. Yes, I speak English, not Australian 

You laugh but this is a very common question, maybe even the most common. 

3. They're called prawns, not shrimps 

If you are Australian and you have travelled overseas you would have definitely heard the ol line "throw another shrimp on the barbie" and wanted to throttle Paul Hogan and the whole 1984 tourism Australia advertising team. Not only will you hear it, you will hear it again, and again, and again, and again. 

4. We don't drink Fosters 

And we haven't since the 1970's. Although overseas the brand is advertised as being true blue Aussie, the lager which was formally brewed by the Carlton United Beverages group, became vastly unpopular in aus throughout the early 2000s when the group decided to focus on promoting Carlton Draught and Victoria Bitter. 

5. I live somewhere other than Sydney

Yeah, and not Melbourne either. Get use to trying to explain to foreigners that Australia is actually a fairly large island, and it might help to have a go to map on your phone because you are going to be asked this a lot. 

6. We do have things that kill you, but I never come in contact with them

The funniest thing to do when you're in conversation with a foreigner about Australia is list the things that can kill you in Australia. Not only are you getting a few laughs, but you are doing your nation proud making sure that they are never going to want to immigrate to a place with this many things that can kill you. Mentioning things like the bird eating spider is my personal favourite, they don't need to know that it lives in far north East Queensland... 

7. I do not surf all the time 

Cheers Roxy and Billabong for making foreigners think we're all tanned with long blonde beach hair and wearing a bikini 72% of the time. You can imagine the shock they get when a pale faced, black haired girl tells them she's from Australia. "You're from Australia, why are you so white?" "You can't just ask someone why they're white..." 

8. Dingoes are not as common as foxes are to you

Never seen one, probably never will. Dingos are classified as a sub species of grey wolf and are on the verge of extinction, so no, they aren't running around our streets. 

9. I don't greet people with g'day 

I don't even think someone else under the age of 30 has ever greeted me with a "g'day". 

10. Koalas are actually vicious, not cuddly 

Oh koalas are so cute! They look so cuddly, soft and small and just hang about in the trees all day, getting high off of eucalyptus. False. Firstly, they're big fuckers, some grow up to 15kgs big. Secondly, if they get agitated they have sharp claws and teeth to defend themselves with, which is why carers always use protective gear to handle them. Thirdly, chlamydia. Yes, some experts say that up to 90% of Australia's koala population have contracted the disease from unprotected sex (although I'm not sure where they expect the little guys to find a condom). Sharing these koala facts with foreigners is fun because you can see them die a little inside when they realise the animal they once had known and loved is actually a fat and incredibly violent little slut. 

Top Ten: Things Betty White is Older Than

Currently holding the Guinness World Record for having the longest TV career, Betty White has developed a reputation for being everyone's favourite on screen gran. From beginning with her infamous role on the Golden Girls to singing Lil John's classic "Get Low" in The Proposal, Betty has won over the hearts of the world over. One thing that doesn't cross our minds though is how old she really is. Born January 17, 1922 Betty White is surprisingly older than a lot of everyday items...

1. Penicillin 1928

2. Photocopiers 1937

3. Ballpoint pens 1938

4. Sunglasses 1929

5. Television 1925

6. Bubble gum 1928

7. PEZ candy 1927

8. Cheeseburger 1924 

9. LSD 1938

10. Monopoly 1933